Let’s have some real talk about the divorce process—it can be very emotional. But the courts do not see it that way.

People tend to approach divorce the same way they do sports—there are two sides, and only one can end up winning. However, when it comes to divorce, this can be a lose-lose for both parties. Ultimately the court won’t see your case this way. In the State of Utah, the Courts are meant to understand your situation for what it is, not what it means to the individuals, emotionally.

Most divorces in Utah are based on irreconcilable differences meaning that no one party is at fault for why the marriage is ending. Try telling that to someone in the middle of a divorce, right? Well, we do it all the time! Even in cases when one spouse has been unfaithful, or even abusive. The parties rarely agree that the blame falls solely with one party.

Those types of cases are called Fault Divorces, and they can be challenging to prove and expensive to sustain. When you want to show that the fault rests with one party, you have to be able to show the court that everything came down to that one person. These types of cases can take years to settle and can end up costing the party thousands of dollars.

The Courts are primarily concerned about two things—how assets are divided and what will happen with the kids. They usually don’t care about who cheated on who, who was the big fat meanie, it just doesn’t work like that!

Obviously, there is a lot more that goes into a divorce, but the general point is this—if you’re hoping to go into a courtroom to hear a judge say, “Oh, poor you,” and throw the book at your soon-to-be ex, you might need to take a minute to manage your expectations. If it’s sympathy and validation you’re looking for, maybe look into a good therapist and a relaxing vacation.

In the long run, your sanity and checkbook should settle your divorce outside of a courtroom. Ensure that you have an attorney who can take care of it quickly and efficiently like the ones we have here at SEB Legal. Trust us, the sooner you can move on, the sooner you’ll start feeling the validation you’re craving.